Filmmaker's Notes
by Heath07
Summary: A fic from the documentary filmmaker's POV. JimPam centric.


**Title: Filmmaker's Notes**

**Author: Heath07**

**Rating: PG**

**Summary: A fic from the documentary filmmaker's POV. Jim/Pam centric. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, etc.**

**Notes: This is something I just threw together on a whim. Eh.**

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**Final Notes**

When I started this documentary, I figured I had nothing to lose… Dunder-Mifflin was as good as any paper factory to document and Michael Scott and his employees seemed to be good subjects… But as I delved into this project, I got too involved…I started to care. It was a mistake. One I hope to never make again.

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**Jim Halpert, Stamford Branch, Dunder-Mifflin Paper Products**

"It was just a kiss," he says, with a slight shake of his head. His eyes turn downcast in that now familiar gesture that doesn't just hint, but pinpoints the blatantly obvious hurt in those ill-spoken words.

Of course it was more than just a kiss. We all watched as Pam pulled away, as they stood a foot apart from each other in awkward silence--as if they were two strangers and not two people completely and totally in love—and in denial of that love. It was obvious to everyone (especially the film crew--in the moment, and later as we edited the segment together) but the pair of them. And it is not our job, _nay_, not our responsibility to show them the truth of the moment. We're just the filmmakers… our own biases and feelings should not play a part in this documentary. Still, as the moment stretched and the air began to stifle us, our hands did shake a little under the heavy weight of the camera and boom—not the situation, as we would later wonder. It is our duty to be objective.

It is our duty to remain impartial.

Jim's eyes meet the lens and once again that goofy grin is back in place. "It was just a kiss," he says, more strongly, masking all the hurt and longing marring his voice not even a moment ago. "It didn't mean anything… So here I am."

So, here he is. In Stamford, and I don't mind saying, working himself to death. And for what? To forget? It's only a two hour drive—an hour and thirty-five minutes if you speed the whole way—but it might as well be a world away from Scranton. A world away from the office and Pam Beesley.

"The people here are cool. Uh…yeah. It's a lot different, but I'm adjusting. I have a date on Friday, sooo lookin' forward to that," he says, clearly not as excited as he pretends to be.

"Do I think it's too soon after the Pam Thing? First, I'm not quite sure what "Pam Thing" you're referring to…" He shrugs and gives the camera a smirk. "No, no…I think it's time. It's been a month. Gotta move on sometime, right?" he asks, unsure.

I agree as I pack up my gear and give him a final handshake. The story that we thought we were developing clearly is not going anywhere. It's time to move on to bigger and better things. And yet, I'm left with a bitter taste in my mouth for the potential that has been wasted. It was premature of us to think that this documentary was anything but a view of the life of office workers…it certainly was not a great love story in the making as we had all hoped. It was foolish for us to think that anyway, wasn't it?

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**Pam Beesley, Scranton Branch, Dunder-Mifflin Paper Products**

"Jim's a great guy. A great guy."

It's obvious she believes this. As the camera zooms in, it's impossible to miss the way her eyes water before she wipes at them. We push forward with more probing questions.

"Do I miss him? That um, that's a…that's a tough question. Uh, Jim, he…he brought a lot to the office. I know things won't ever be the same," she says, seemingly shocked at her own bold admission. She seems to make a quick recovery. "Around here, I mean. He'd never admit it, but I think Dwight even misses him."

Her laugher sounds hollow. Again, I'm finding it hard to maintain my professionalism and continue with the interview while maintaining an indifferent and non-objective stance. I press a little harder.

"So, then, yes. The answer would be yes. I miss Jim. Of course, I do. He's my friend."

I wonder if she ever lets the mask slip long enough to look herself in the mirror and see all the lies written on her face. The rest of the crew and I spoke about it and we believe Pam is in serious denial, but we can't decide what it is exactly that keeps her from realizing her own feelings for Jim. Is she really this content with average and adequate? And how can she agree to marry one man when her heart potentially belongs to someone else? I ask about the wedding, hoping to gain at least a little insight.

"Yes, the wedding is still on. It's next week, in fact. So, um, yeah, it's almost here."

Her tone is bland and her eyes cannot meet the camera. Perhaps it is cruel to continue with this line of questioning but something inside me cannot rest.

"Excited? Yeah, yeah, I guess I am."

Doesn't that just sum up everything nicely?

And thus, we conclude the interview. I leave confused and disillusioned.

This film will be spliced together in a hot studio somewhere in Hollywood. The rights have all ready been bought and when it's finally edited together, it will air at an unusual time on an obscure network. Those who do tune in to watch will be at times amused, disturbed and even outraged at some of the antics that happen in this office and I'm sure offices just like it across the country. Good for them. In that way, we have succeeded.

When we started this project, we had certain goals in mind and we met each and every one. I suppose that makes us successful, in a way. But I will always wonder what could have been. I suspect Pam and Jim will not be immune to such feelings as well.

In the end, we told a story and that's all we could do.


End file.
